Authenticity is inside out

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We often hear the term ‘fake it until you make it’ which for me is a good example of what authenticity is not.  My counter to that phrase is ‘mold it until you hold it’ or as one of my Executive Coaching Trainer, LaFern Batie, says, ‘model it until you master it’. I prefer these replacement phrases because they are honest about where you are and also about what your intentions are.

Being authentic means you are being real, true, sincere, genuine, aligned and being who you claim to be. Authenticity has several relatives, like truth, peace, joy and wellbeing which similarly require harmony as a prerequisite for their manifestation.

Consider: If you are not sure of yourself, of who you are or of what you stand for, then it is pretty difficult to claim authenticity. With such uncertainty, what would be the standard by which you assess your alignment and truthfulness? If you say one thing but act differently, then you show inconsistency. If you desire and believe one thing but behave and engage in habits that do not support those desires, goals, and beliefs, then this also qualifies under the umbrella of inauthenticity. 

Authenticity is an inside out characteristic. Meaning, if you are not first authentic within, being truly honest with yourself, and about yourself, then honesty with others will be limited. Most of us face inner conflict at one point or the other, and when left unaddressed, it can lead to dissatisfaction, unhappiness, resentment and inner turmoil. On the other hand, when we become aware of our inner discrepancies and seek to address them, we produce growth and soundness of character.

We were designed to thrive in harmony, both internally and externally. We are at our best when we are in harmony within ourselves, with each other, with nature and with our creator. When we are not in a state of harmony, there is some form of suffering. And suffering extended can show up as crazy-like behaviour. The good news is that we are not bound to a state of suffering and the consequences that come with it! Once we become aware of our misalignments, take steps to disidentify (disassociate from undesired tendencies) and assume the persona of a goal-aligned, purposeful and intentional person we can rectify the discrepancy.  

The thing with inauthenticity is that it will eventually betray you. It is not a safe heaven and it may even reveal itself in unwelcome and damaging ways. Sometimes when we make a wrong step, we try to be less than honest in order to manipulate the situation towards a perceived favourable outcome. But anything that is structurally unsound will eventually fall apart, especially under unanticipated pressure. Although we naturally make predictions about the future, we really do not know in advance what the ultimate outcome will be. When we try to manipulate situations and people, in line with our own predictions, we self-sabotage and can end up creating blocks to opportunities, solutions, and to favour.

As we strive to become authentic, and to experience joy, peace, truth and wellbeing, here are a dozen questions to assist in our self-assessment  and to highlight some of the areas we can start working on today.

1. What are my innate gifts and passions? Are they prominent in what I do most of the time? Am I happy with what I am doing currently and how I use my gifting?
2. Am I goal-oriented  and driven towards attitudes and behaviours that align with my values, desired identity and vision?
3. How would I assess my work quality? Do I work at my best, most of the time? Is there a difference in how I work when I am being monitored and when I am not? 
4. How well balanced am I? Do I focus on my 360 wellbeing? 
5. How do I perceive the future? What kind of energy and emotion do I feel when I think about my future? 
6. Am I contributing to society? Are my decisions legacy-focused?
7. Am I gracious, compassionate and empathetic, towards myself and others?
8. Do I feel contented and satisfied with the direction my life is going in?
9. Do I show consistency in my life?
10. Do I walk my own talk?
11. Am I on a specific path of continued growth and improvement? 
12. Am I at peace with myself and with God? 

Whatever your answers are, you are a decision away from creating a progressive shift in your life. Authenticity is not elusive, but it requires intentionality. It is 100% within your control to strive for authenticity and benefit from its fruits.

Join me in this mission and let us disidentify together towards a true state of harmony.